It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
