Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My sheets look like a crime scene.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
operation have a gay friend backfired
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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