you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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