Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My dick has a subreddit
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
