you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
