dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
