Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
