just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
