so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
