i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
