Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
