Don't you send me to vm
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
