So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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