the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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