My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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