i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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