just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
