I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
