i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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