so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I still have a little drunk in my system
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
