i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
