Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
