i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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