So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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