why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
