Your tits are I can't wait for
kristin has been a bad kristin
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
