I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
