I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
