allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
