i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
