Welp...herpes.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
