My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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