You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
