you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i drank out of a bidet.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
