Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.

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(607): View more from New York

I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.

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(573): View more from Missouri

I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse

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(503): View more from Oregon

gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers

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