the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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