I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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