he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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