how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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