Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
