After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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