I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
