Do vagina's smell?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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