I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
