Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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