sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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