U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
