She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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