After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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