He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
