ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
