cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
