I hate your face
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
