He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
